The new year has come and so has many new years resolutions that we probably won’t remember by end of Jan but one that should remain is unconditional love for your wife. This shouldn’t be a new years resolution but a choice you make every morning you open your eyes. You fell in love with her for a reason but as the years goes on we tend to forget what the main reason was that we fell in love and start focusing on all the reasons why we aren’t. Is that really unconditional love? If not what is unconditional love? In the next 5-10 minutes that it takes to read this blog I can guarantee that some of these theories are going to make you uncomfortable, but ask yourself if it is because they are wrong or because they bring up your insecurities thus you shun them away rather then except that maybe you (and me) have some work to do.
Firstly thank your wife for still being there after all the things that you’ve put her through when you were tired after a 20 hour day, caused unnecessary arguments because you were depressed and blocking her from becoming the woman she was born to be because of your insecurities and fears yet after all of this she is still there and still loves you. As Entrepreneurs we will start many businesses, some successful and others valuable learning experiences with different partners, friends and acquaintances but as time goes on most of them fade to dust but her love and dedication to support you remains so at the end of the each day who do you think requires the most appreciation? Woman have amazing intuition especially when it comes to judging personalities of potential employees. She is a valuable sounding board for your ideas and when she asks you questions about them it is because she knows you better than anyone else and not because she doesn’t understand. She takes care of so much more than you will ever know, thinks of you all day, phones you cause she misses you and sits alone at home while you are putting in long hours at the office building your dream.
So back to the unconditional love. What does unconditional love really mean? In a nutshell it means that if you really love her you will love every part of her, good and bad (fyi, it’s only bad in your perspective), you will deal with the skeletons in your closet on your own instead of expecting her to change her behaviour to suit you and most of all appreciate every new day that you are given the privilege of being her’s. You have this amazing opportunity to be in awe of her every trait and have complete freedom in commitment. Being with her removes a million other thoughts that would otherwise cloud your clarity and she gives you the freedom to focus on something that is almost as important as she is but will never exceed it – your baby, your business. Entrepreneurship is one of the loneliest journeys I’ve been on but it doesn’t need to be if you communicate with her, share your hopes and dreams, your fears and your insecurities. Allow her to be part of your journey and you’ll be amazed at the insights you can gain from her perspective. Remember, you see your business as only you can see it, she see’s it as a customers point of view so never discount her opinion
I see many people start new relationship and then complain that their previous partner never treated them as nice as their new one does but ask yourself the question: if you treated your ex partner as well as your new partner how do you think she would’ve treated you? She is only responding to the energy you are giving her and if you don’t treat her with love and affection what do you expect in return? The next time when you get upset because of a behavioural trait of hers sit with your thoughts for 10-15 min and ask yourself these questions:
1. Is getting upset over this really worth it or am I being petty
2. Is it her that is upsetting me or is it societal rules that dictate a man should get upset when a woman acts in such a way
3. Am I trying to change her behaviour because I don’t want to deal with my own fears and insecurities. If you really love her you will never try to change her, only support her so she can be all she can be
Unconditional love means that you shouldn’t trust her, you should trust that she trusts herself enough that she will do what is right for her. I see so many woman not living to their fullest potential because of not living with passion and not doing the things that really inspire them because of the fears and insecurities of their partners. I don’t think there is ever a time that we can dictate what their behaviour should be as every time we do it’s because of own flaws in our personality, past experience that has changed our perspectives and the collective consciousness of the society we spend our time in that conditions what our paradigms are and what our view is of right or wrong.
To end of I have one task for you. Imagine that you only have one year left with this person and consider parts of your personality and behaviour you will change. How many arguments will you let go, how will you greet her, how will you support her and how much more will you appreciate her every day. Think about every day, start treating her that way and watch your woman transform in-front of your eyes and become someone 10 times better then the one you fell in love with in the first place
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